Saturday, September 29, 2012

Cheeky Pants

I saw these on Pinterest yesterday. Rrrrowwwwwr.

Source here

Have a sexy weekend!

Friday, September 21, 2012

Orgasms Galore!

Lately I've been using KY Intense Arousal Gel and you might want to go out and buy some right now. That stuff has been a life-changer in my bedroom. Here are the things you need to know about it:

       1) It is not a lube.
       2) It is not a lube.

I don't mean to beat a dead horse, but the number of negative reviews out there written by people who clearly used it as a lube is astonishing. It's not a lube and it says so on the packaging, and in all the reviews written by people who aren't dumb. So, with that in mind, don't put it where you would put a lube. Follow the directions and apply 1-2 squirts to the clitoral area.

       3) It works for 75% of the women who try it. It might not work for you, but if it does, you're in for a treat.
       4) It's expensive. The price on the amazon link above is actually half of what I paid from a different place (it was the cheapest I could find at the time) with a $5.00 instant rebate.

So, what's so great about it? For me it guarantees that 100% of the times we have sex, I will have an orgasm. It also makes the orgasms I have very intense. I started using this gel in May and there has been one time when my orgasm was not very intense. One time. The other times have all been exactly as they are depicted in the commercials. Thanks to this gel, I also always climax pretty early on, giving me time to devote to becoming multi-orgasmic. No luck yet, but I'll keep you posted.

Have a sexy weekend!

I think it would even help in this situation.
That's just how magical it is.

The four people who read this blog know that I'm recommending this product because I use it and love it, not because I received anything for doing so.

Monday, September 17, 2012

The Seven Year Gift Itch

This November we will have been married 7 years and I'm already in a gift rut with my husband. Gifts for men are interesting; they assume men are drunk, cigar-smoking, NFL Sunday Ticket obsessed sofa surfers whose movements are limited to golf, grilling, and the ones that happen in the bathroom.
The cocktail set from the alternate reality where
Marty's mom marries Biff is a
one-of-a-kind offering from Brookstone.

It only took two years to redenvelope him to death. A guy only needs so many cuff links, especially when his job calls for a more casual wardrobe, he's not a golfer or a cigar smoker, and I don't really understand what whiskey stones are for. The amount of stemware we already have makes pint glasses etched with our monogram or his favorite sports team's logo too ridiculous to contemplate. He's a great cook and griller, but one of these would just end up on someone's butt.
Grill Brand or DIY Tramp Stamp-er?

A search on Pinterest returned three measly pins. I never imagined it would be possible for Pinterest to fail me, but I guess Pinterest is 99% wedding ideas pinned by 17 year old girls. Maybe in 20 years there will be some anniversary pins. On the bright side, there's a spat in the comments on this pin.

One of the best gifts I ever gave him was a memory book I made. I wrote a really cheesy but heartfelt letter commemorating our first date and the things we liked to do together. I divided the letter into 21 parts and wrote each part on one page of the book, which was decorated with a corresponding picture or scrapbooking sticker. I gave him one page every day leading up to our wedding, when I gave him the final page before we went our separate ways to prepare for the day. That was a special gift for that time of our life, but I'm pretty sure he'd rather have a new bike this year. That's too bad, because there's a moratorium on big purchases till we get wood floors.

Got any gift ideas for me?

Oh, brother. I didn't marry an effing hipster, thank you very much.
Vintage distressed typewriter key copper cuff links from here